my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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