But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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