i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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