dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
