u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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