worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
