i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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