I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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