Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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