omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
NoShamevember. You game?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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