i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
