thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
