There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
