Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
