you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
God, I missed his penis.
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