dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize