My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
