You work out of a Hotel?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
