I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
