you're like a bully in the Christmas story
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I am one with the molecules
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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