the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
