How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Randomize
