a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
