Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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