Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
