So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So squirting runs in the family.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize