You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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