I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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