The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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