Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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