are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
