he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
