We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
