my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
ugly people sure do ruin things
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
