Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
