Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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