My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
