You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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