I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
