I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
