is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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