Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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