how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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