I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
