So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
