Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My vagina is very pro this idea
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