when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
