I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
This is the high leading the old right now
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
