If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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