I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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