Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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