There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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