if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
