she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
