4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
