she looked like the bat from fern gully.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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