He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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