maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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