This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
