I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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