omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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