playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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