I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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