I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
